A girl once told me, someone I met in a DBT group I was in, that two people with mental illnesses, could never work because it was just too much.
I’ve been in a relationship with this guy, I’m now living with, for almost a month now, for 3 months. How can I word this properly? He has a very quick temper, never towards me. I’ve known that he has been touched by the darkness, that he carries his own demons but I only recently learned that he was bipolar.
See, I love psych. Anything psych. That is my niche. And I’m a pretty good reader of people. I’ve been trying to pin him down, since we met but I could never quite read him. I’m usually right, at diagnosing.
I’m a bit of a psych nerd. Not just from the textbook because textbook psych is bullshit if you ask me. I mean come on, I’m borderline, PTSD, anxiety ridden. Plus, since I was 16, I’ve been diagnosed with various things (that were wrong). So, I hate textbook psych.
But, what I’m getting at here is, not just what this girl told me but I have always had this running joke (that was somewhat true, and I know it’ll piss some people off) that borderlines and bipolars, are at war, they cannot get along. This is just my experience. I only say this because, although we are similar in that we have the mood components, BPD, is like bipolar on crack. That’s just how I explain it to the normies. Of course it’s far more complex than that.
So, with my borderline temperament and all that entails, his quick temper, constant underlying rage… Which makes for a fun, if he shows the slightest hint of anger, you know the drill… Borderline tailspin! Can this work?
Can two people, with mental illnesses, be together and work?
We both want this.
I just don’t want this to be another tumultuous, quick, spinning out of control, afraid of leaving, putting up with, relationship.
I’m getting too old (I’m only 28) for this shit.
But I have learned over the years. I started seeing myself afraid of upsetting him and stopped speaking my mind. I hated it. So I got some balls and was like buck the fuck up. Looked fear in the eye. Now, I’m speaking my mind all the time.
Also, I saw that we were not communicating well. I nipped that in the butt. So, I am trying. I really am.
Tell me, what do you think? I really want to know. Thanks.