I did not ask… 

Why should I be Sorry 

Sorry for who I am 

Sorry for everything my life has made me 

Why? 
I did not ask for this 

Do you think 

In my right mind 

I wake up 

And tell myself 

Today, I want to suffer 

I want to have extreme moods 

Every 60 seconds

I want anger, that is unfounded 

I want to be afraid 

Of people leaving 

Of things that don’t make sense 

That I woke up 

As a child 

As a teen, in love for the first time 

As a 28 year old, meeting someone new 

And wanted them to rip away my dignity 

Rip away every piece of me 

Leave me with nothing but vile memories 

And pieces of me, shattered 
I did not 

Wake up 

And ask for any of it 

I did not 

Ask for this 
But

Hear me 

When I tell you 

This is my truth 

This is who I am 
Not all of me 

Because there is 

So much more 

Love 

Beauty 

Understanding 

Caring 

A world in this soul 

You could not even begin to fathom 

Because of what I did not ask for 
So no, 

I did not ask for this 

But 

This is part of me, now 
This is me, B. 

Take me or leave me. 

I’m done hiding… 
-B. 

10-17-17

I gotchu…

And just like thatI realized 

My own strength 
Not for myself 

But for you 
That if you were ever in need 

I could pick you up 

That I had your back 
And that was the first time 

The first time

That I ever felt strong for someone 

For someone else’s darkness 
And in that 

I knew 

That 

This

Was

For 

Real…
-B. 

9-30-17

Seams

I’m barely holding it together I’m hanging on by the seams 
Like an old rag doll 

Who’s had her time 

Seams coming undone 
I need you 

I need you right here 

Not in a little while 

I need you now 

Because I’m coming undone 
-B. 

9-21-17

Explanations 

I hate explaining this When you take it at face value 

The way I feel 

The way this 

My mental illness 

Makes me feel 

Borderline 
I can’t just tell you I’m sensitive because that would not do it justice. 

I have to tell you I feel it in every nerve ending. 

My muscles feel tight. 

I feel on edge as if every inch of me, if you touched me, that I would wince. 
-B. 

9-20-17

I was set free… 

I was set free today 
I thought I would care 

I thought the storm would come 

I thought it would hurt 
But you have done this for too long 

You have torn me apart 

Put me back together 

Too many times 
You pushed me over the cliff 

And you know what? 

I had wings 
And I’m 

I’m okay. 
-B. 

10-9-17

Plucked

Being borderline is hard. Having intense emotional states is hard.

To be highly emotional.

I feel as if every nerve in my body has been plucked like a guitar string, all vibrating in pain, all at once. 
-B.

9-20-17

Cookies 

I used to want to be normal This idea of normal 

This idea my parents put in me 

Society put in me… 
But I don’t think there is a normal 

There are cookie cutters 

Then there’s me 

Cut from my own cookie dough 

With rainbow sprinkles and colored sugar 
Me 

Who doesn’t fit the cookie cutter 
Me who doesn’t feel like everyone else 

Or think like everyone 

Or act 

Or dress 

Or do things the way we were told 
I’m a weird sort of cookie shape

A borderline cookie 

A cookie with a thousand stories 

A thousand cracks 

A thousand scars 

I’m an emotional cookie 

I see things in black and white 

I don’t follow the rules 

I do things at my own pace 

I’m a bit of a broken cookie 

Sometimes bits of me crumble 

I’m not afraid or ashamed of it 

Because I’m not like the others 
If I was like the others 

I’d be boring 

I wouldn’t feel the beauty and the tragedy 

I wouldn’t see it either 

I would be like the rest 

Where’s the fun in that? 
So

I don’t want to be normal 

I just want to be me 

A weird

Rainbow sprinkled and sugared cookie 

Not like the rest… 
-B. 

9-19-17