Inspired

Yesterday morning my little 11 year old 5lb Pomeranian died suddenly with no warning… I have been devastated. Especially being so unbalanced lately with meds and starting my senior semester as a psych research student. Out of all of this, all my friends were nowhere to be found. For months I lost my spark. The one that drives creativity but yesterday I found it in the strength and grief and love for my old companion.

This is what came of it… the last picture is basically finished just need a few finishing touches but in pain is art and in art is pain and in that is solace. Remember that.

Break apart

I’m going to break

I’m not as strong as you think

I’m not the person you think

I am small

All alone

No one to talk to

I’m going to break

A million different ways

There won’t be putting me back together

Watch me fall apart

On the floor

You’ll find me

All my pieces

You won’t be able to put me back together

-B. 6-10-18

I soared…

I guess this is the way it is now

The way the course has run

You’ve said it all

Shown all you’re cards

I know your games

I know your tricks

You wicked thing

Twisting and poisoning the life out of me

I guess this is where we are now

I’ve seen your face underneath that mask

I’ve seen your soul, so full of darkness

So is this what you’ve become

Is this what we are

Or should I say I am no longer

Disowned by you

Now only one daughter,is what you have

But the joke is on you

Because you didn’t clip my wings

You pushed me off the edge

And I soared…

aren’t you scared now, mother…

-B.

5-5-18

Amy (part 2) 

We talked for 5 hours that dayMy sister was worried I would leave 

Come live with you 

That’s what my mom told me 
I remember that day because it was the best day of my life 

But I would later find out 

That for you… 

it was the worst. 
From that day on 

We were inseparable 

For the next 5 years or so 

We talked everyday for hours 

And even skyped
You eventually came to visit 

Scariest and most exciting day of my life 

We had a pre planned meeting spot 

The clock in GCT 
I took the train in to the city 

I remember getting off the train 

Calling my best friend walking out of GCT saying I can’t do this but he talked me up 

So I walked back in 

Luckily I came from behind 

I said, “mom” 

You turned around 

I remember you started hysterically crying 

You hugged me 

You wouldn’t let go 

I never felt that before 

That bond 
We had the best day in the city 

I felt like the new baby 

Because you were buying me all these new clothes 

We did touristy things too 

You wouldn’t stop staring at me while you walked 
Over the years we met a few more times 

Once in Chicago 

You also came back here to visit again and meet my family and best friend 

And the last time we ever saw each other in person was the time I flew to California for you 
That was the beginning of the end… 
-B. 

9-15-17