Inspired

Yesterday morning my little 11 year old 5lb Pomeranian died suddenly with no warning… I have been devastated. Especially being so unbalanced lately with meds and starting my senior semester as a psych research student. Out of all of this, all my friends were nowhere to be found. For months I lost my spark. The one that drives creativity but yesterday I found it in the strength and grief and love for my old companion.

This is what came of it… the last picture is basically finished just need a few finishing touches but in pain is art and in art is pain and in that is solace. Remember that.

Someone?…please!

Someone hear me scream

Please, I need you to hear me

Anyone, hear me

I’m so scared

As the darkness eats away at me

I don’t want to be here anymore

Someone find me

Help me

Get me out of here

Because I don’t think I’m going to make it

-B. 6-11-18

Sunshine 

One summer night When you couldn’t take my darkness anymore 

You gave me a sunshine 

For my very first time 
I was nervous 

But, I trusted you 

With my every being 

And within 30 minutes 

I understood 
We went for a night swim in your pool 

The trees, in silhouette

The summer air was warm 

The water was cool 
Every inch of my being 

Bursting with love and light 

My stomach, on the inside 

Felt like… a warm fuzzy peach

A feeling of pure happiness 
You put your hands underneath me

As I stretched out and floated 

Freely, safely 

Because you held me 

Swaying

Taking it all in 

All the beauty 
Then we went up to your room 

You put on the song “porcelain” by Moby 

And I swore, I told you… it felt as if… 

as if, G-D was singing to me 

And I had never felt so much love before 
I spoke to you of alternate universes 

Of where I was with my birth mother 

And we laid in the dark 

Holding each other 
You were right 

You told me, you never feel as good as the first time 

That I would never get that back 
I’m glad I didn’t 

It was a still point in time 

My timeline 

Something I can remember 

Always remember, now that you’re gone 
Thank you, Bunny
-B. 

8-29-17

Never Forget

I still remember this day As clear as the sky is blue 

Like it happened yesterday 
I was in middle school 

In 7th grade 

12 years old 

Sitting in English 

I remember 

My teacher 

She turned on the tv 
After that it seems like time skipped 

Like time jumped 

From moment to moment 

From fear to fear 
We were rushed out of her class 

Then we were in the big hallway, bear the entrance 

Full of panicked mothers and crying children 

I was scared, crying 

I didn’t know much about the geography of the city 

I only knew my favorite uncle was in the city 

My mind was racing and all these people were around us 

Then my neighbor came for my sister and I 

Not my mother, she was there, she drove their to help

My fears grew worse 
Finally we were home 

From that day, and for a long time 

All we could watch, was the news 

What they showed us on replay 

Over and over 

Images 

Never leaving our minds 

Burned into us 

Forever 
The lost souls 

Forever mourned 

The sworn vengeance 

The tragedy that brought together a nation 
Today

I remember 

I never forget 

This is for the lost 

Who will never be forgotten 
-B. 

9-11-17 

 

Bunny

I was only 17 when we met The first time I laid eyes on you 

It was nothing like I’d imagined 

You were lanky and awkward 

But you had this air about you 
That night, was the first time I heard you play guitar and sing 

Then we watched, “Donnie Darko”, twice, just so we could stay together… to fool your parents 
That night, was the first night, I ever learned what Percocet, “sunshine” as I would end up calling it, was 

You had forgotten to get your methadone

So in front of your step sister and I, you took 8 of them

It was silly to me 

Mostly because when they kicked in, you started to “meow” 

You were so cute 
Days later, we were together 

In the barn, behind your house 

We snuck in, so your mom wouldn’t see 

And we made love… pure love… 

I had never moved that fast

We had only been together for 4 days 
I never minded the fact that you sold drugs or took them 

I was straight edge 

I knew nothing of that world 

All I did was smoke cigarettes and drink, sometimes 
We fell in love fast

You were amazing 

I was fucked up and horrible 

But you loved me 
You always loved me 

Long after 

And I loved you 

I still love you 

Even though you’re gone… 
-B. 

8-29-17