Sky on fire

Sky on fire Like, the emotional 

Nerve endings, I feel 
Peering through the trees 

A blazing array of fiery colors

The sunset glows

Hues of oranges and reds 
The end of a new day 

But not for me 

This is just the beginning 

Because nightfall 

Brings new life
It brings new 

Burns to my 

Already open 

Nerves 
But, I, I survive 
Always…
-B. 

12-14-17

I said it!

I said it I’ve been thinking it for weeks 

But I finally said it to you 
I said it 

And it meant something 

It wasn’t a baseless 

Empty 

Meaningless 

Saying 

Not anymore 
I thought it had lost all of it 

I thought I would never be able to say 

Say those three words again 

But I said them 
And when I said them 

I didn’t feel empty 

I didn’t overuse them 

It felt like home 

It felt like I had never in my life told anyone those three words 
I’ve been wanting to tell you for so long 

You knew that 

I couldn’t 

Not with you 

You’re different 

They had to mean something 

Because you mean something 
But 

I

Finally 

Said 

It 
…I love you. 
-B. 

9-10-17

You are…

I need you to reach Reach deep into my darkness 

Take my hand in yours 

Grasp it tight 
Put your hand upon my cheek 

Wipe away my tears 

Hold me close 

And never let me go 
You are the light 

That reaches out to me 

When I am drowning in the darkness 
You take my pain 

You make it beautiful 

You take my fear 

You make it safe 

You see me alone 

You stand right by my side 
How could anything ever 

Come close to you 

How could you even exist 
My peace

My home 

My everything 

My beating heart 
-B. 

9-4-17

Home. 

You run deep in my veins Flowing through me 

With every beat of my heart 
I want you 

With every molecule of my being 

I feel you 

with ever atom of my soul 
You are 

the kerosene that ignites my fire

The Wild fire 
Everything that could have and ever will 

You are what I’ve always needed and will need 
The moon, the sun, the ocean 

The air in my lungs 

You are…

You are…

Always 

And 

forever 

My home. 
-B.  

9-1-17

Sunshine 

One summer night When you couldn’t take my darkness anymore 

You gave me a sunshine 

For my very first time 
I was nervous 

But, I trusted you 

With my every being 

And within 30 minutes 

I understood 
We went for a night swim in your pool 

The trees, in silhouette

The summer air was warm 

The water was cool 
Every inch of my being 

Bursting with love and light 

My stomach, on the inside 

Felt like… a warm fuzzy peach

A feeling of pure happiness 
You put your hands underneath me

As I stretched out and floated 

Freely, safely 

Because you held me 

Swaying

Taking it all in 

All the beauty 
Then we went up to your room 

You put on the song “porcelain” by Moby 

And I swore, I told you… it felt as if… 

as if, G-D was singing to me 

And I had never felt so much love before 
I spoke to you of alternate universes 

Of where I was with my birth mother 

And we laid in the dark 

Holding each other 
You were right 

You told me, you never feel as good as the first time 

That I would never get that back 
I’m glad I didn’t 

It was a still point in time 

My timeline 

Something I can remember 

Always remember, now that you’re gone 
Thank you, Bunny
-B. 

8-29-17

Free…

I always dreamed of being free I don’t know exactly what that means yet

I’d like to think it looks something like that scene from the Virgin Suicides 

The one towards the end 

The dream sequence 

Imagine, if you can 

Just being with the ones you love, who care about you… someone or a few amazing souls 

You’re in a spacious comfortable car 

Windows down 

Cool summer air 

Your hair flowing in the wind

Your arm hanging out the window to feel the air 

And there’s the best kind of music playing 

The kind that just makes you happy to be where you are 

The best part is, it’s just the open road, no one else is on it

With a full tank of gas

Going nowhere and everywhere

All at once 

And in that moment you realize that maybe you aren’t happy but you’re okay 

And that is so much better because you are okay, you are finally okay… 

that to me, maybe, just maybe is what freedom tastes like, feels like

A fleeting moment

A moment so powerful that it rips into your soul and frees you for the rest of your time… 
-B. 8-24-17

Letting go…

I was born into darkness Raised by abuse 

You were my only parent 

Well the only one who stayed 

You twisted everything 

Made me believe you were doing your best

Doing everything from love…

Maybe in someway you were 

But, but this sick, twisted, all encompassing, symbiosis 

This thing we have… 

It consumes me… 

it’s worse than just an umbilical cord 

Because I never came from you… 

I was only yours on paper 

So I put you on a pedestal

Where those vines grew… 

Twisting, winding, pulling me in

Pulling me in so close, I gasp for air

But it’s time

It’s time now 

I need to breath, breath my own air 

I need to become my own being 

I cut the vines 

And I let go… 

I let go, for the very last time… 
-B. 8-22-17